Learning to let go of that negative thinking.

 Hello everyone, My name is Latasha. I am 30 years old, I'll be turning 31 in December. For the past few years, I felt like nothing in life I ever do will make me less of a person and it's hard to understand what kind of issues you have. I have been having negative thinking for a year now. However, I am still positive thanks to my therapist Dr. Riley. Since 2020, she has been always been my motivational support through my rough days and completely changed my life. I don't know what I would've done without her. The struggles and challenges of being a Learning Disability young adult can be very difficult and trying new things made it hard for me.

1. Dad and Daughter issue?

I have had this problem for years now, and no matter how much I struggle to learn something new,  there was and always be temptation with my phone and games. I love myself and my father..... well he isn't perfect like everyone thinks he can be. We make mistakes and truly don't learn from them. I feel a little childish when I'm saying it. But my father has all the right to get mad at me it's not the case, I wanna learn basic stuff without my father's help. Thinking about it now, made me realize how dumb and arrogant I became since I had a smartphone. But for now, I am going to forgive him for all the pain and screaming he has put me through. But I will never forget all the toxic threats and trauma he has put in my mind. I will patiently wait to bond with my father. And until we can come to good terms, I am not sure if I should bond with my father yet. He needs to get himself together and getting the help he needs for his diabetes and mental angry issues dealt with. 

2. My supportive Mom, Chris, and Marcus.

I felt like thanking them for making me feel good about myself.  The three support help in my life is my brothers and Mom. They do get angry at me as well, but they also give me life lessons, so I won't end up being clueless. Marcus told me: "Not everything on the internet is something to watch, take a break from it." Well, to be honest, he is not wrong about that. My mother has been there for me when I am in trouble with school or anything difficult to do. She has been my cheerleader and pushing me to all the limits and being more confident in myself. And lastly, Chris who is like a wingman and a good person that takes the time to help me learn how to do more math even if I haven't studied enough yet. He is also my encouraging coach and the funny man I can laugh with, no matter how terrible or good my day is.

3. Be happy and try not to obsessively impress a parent.

I came to realize not that I don't need to be obligated or even try to bond with my father, if I do then what's the real reason for looking for appreciation or approval from that father figure. Like Dhar says: If someone isn't there for your best, then someone is there for your worst. When I watch Dhar Mann videos, I feel like that's a good positive person to follow for. I simply don't look for my father's approval at all. In fact, I try not so hard to show my father I can do anything. If my father isn't there for me at my worst, then he's not there for me at my best. I rather do things by myself than have someone throwing me into the void and not getting out of there.

Writing gives me a chance to be myself and not to let anyone get in my worst thoughts. I know that writing can benefit me in my lifestyle rather than having without technology. I truly trust myself in all the hardships and anguish that comes in my life.